Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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