Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
