census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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