She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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