im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
