she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
