Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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