I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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