The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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