Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
