He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
