i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
