You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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