Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize