i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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