Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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