marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
