So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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