Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
