we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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