So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
