from now on my penis is your penis
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
