508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
