A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Randomize
