Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
