At least make sure they are 18
Why
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
