I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
