Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
