I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
