The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
