somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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