You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
