one two three fourrrrnication!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
