wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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