if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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