i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the raccoons are back...
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