READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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