You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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