Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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