I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think your dad took our porno
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
