You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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