I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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