Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
