Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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