yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
