Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
