i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
