We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
