Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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