Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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