i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
