I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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