I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
