Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
