remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
