I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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