Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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