Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Houston, we have a blender
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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