your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
