Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
