Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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