why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
