I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
